Basking in Blessings

This has been a busy year as you can tell by my mega lack in updates on Levi and our family =) Having two little ones has been amazing and keeps me on my toes! My mom sure made it look easy having 6 kids and I just cant even imagine how all of that looks day to day!

Well I always tend to do this, not really because of the idea of Christmas, and end of the year how people reflect...But since we have boys with birthdays at the end of the year it gives me a great time to reflect on our life and the many blessings around us ( and I start getting sappy this time of year reminiscing ;)

First of all, thank you so much for caring to stay updated with our family..It is so wild to me that you all have stuck with us so long. It means so much to know if we need prayers you are all here, and it just is so amazing to know we are not on this journey alone!!

Levi just celebrated his 3rd birthday, and this was a big deal birthday!! First of all because apparently 3 yr olds love birthdays which is extremely fun! But also it is a graduation of sorts for him! For his first 3 years he has been doing first steps which is a program that does in home physical and occupational therapy and we  have had 2 special ladies working with him all this time, 3 times a week. They have made a huge impact on his life and we have been so grateful for their hard work but also how they truly care for Levi! Its just remarkable. So now that he is 3 his therapy has changed...We are thankful to continue seeing his regular physical therapist aside from First Steps hopefully 2 times a week once we get insurance things figured out, but it will no longer be at our house (boo!) but he gets to continue swimming and land therapy.

   In addition to that, this little guy started Preschool!?!?! Yes its true =) There is an amazing program at a preschool right down the street from us that is an integrated program which means that they have a normal class room but mix in a few kids with special needs. Levi has 6 kids in his class and 2 teachers and will also be seeing a physical therapist while he is at school.  He is there 2 times a week for 3 hrs and has the option of riding the bus to and from, but mommy has a hard time with that for now ;) Their goal is to just have him in this program to teach him how to access his learning environment physically, and he shouldn't need to be in any special programs after this, except for help when needed! It was neat to go through the testing assessments and hear feedback on Levi. Its easy to see all the good things in your child, but means a lot when other see it too. He did a nice job, and the only thing they see he needs help with is his gross motor skills..(physically) and even at that he is doing well. He scored very high on things like speech and social. They decided to put him in an afternoon class that has 4 year olds to challenge him a little more =) So far its going well..he has been quiet at school, until yesterday when he finally seemed to be excited. He has cried a little bit each day which is pretty hard but he says "I'm ok mom, I can just be brave" AHHH that breaks my heart, but I am proud of him for working through it! His teachers are so kind, and really help him. It was a big step, but its important to think about how he can gain independence in life. There are lots of things he has a hard time doing in life physically and I love that they think of ways he can be independent, and its helped me think of ways to modify chores,dressing ect. so that he can feel a part of it.

Levi had a major year of gaining strength and mobility, and i wont go into detail on all of the things, but to name a few he is now Fully independent with his walker, using crutches with assistance, learning to ride a tricycle, pulling up to stand on most surfaces, able to stand with minor support (he should be standing independently shortly) able to stand to brush teeth, cook at the counter, overall gained balance and stability which gave a huge sense of freedom in our lives!!!! Here is the video I posted recently if you missed it that gives a good overview of where he is at physically . He has achieved many major milestones just this year aside from his shunt malfunction in the spring time, has been doing fantastic!

He continues to have a kind heart, and love reading, and art and telling stories...a boy that is full of life and imagination and a pure delight to be around!!

 Lennox just celebrated his first birthday!! Time fliessss with a second baby!!! He is so funny...he is a boy with personality and knows what he wants lol. I am thankful for his determination as it helps Levi stay motivated as well.  Lennox doesnt have much time to cuddle, he is very busy, but always stays where we are close by him (yes sometimes attached to my leg!) He has started to say some words, one new one being EYYYYEEE! as he pushes our eyes in LOL and lots of animal sounds that are very cute. He has always been a baby that loves to hum and sing and dances every time he hears music!

Lennox looks at something and knows how to do it..its pretty amazing watching what he can do..its been a little hard for Levi to watch at times, but we work on saying "Lennox! Wow that was really hard work, you did a great job!" -This has brought up some questions from Levi like "does Lennox have Spina Bifida too mom?" So that is tricky and we just have to work through unexpected conversations.

Lennox learned to walk recently! He has been very funny using Levi's walker all along as if its his....he will throw himself down actually when Levi needs it, so that is a funny little war we have at our house =) We knew he could do it on his own, but he was pretty speedy with Levi's walker to he just decided he would go for it about a week ago and now he's on to better things like running lol! He walks around the whole house with a proud look on his face. Too cute!! Its actually pretty exciting to have someone walking around the house, because as you can imagine, carrying two babies can be tricky, so looking forward to holding his hand and letting Levi use his walker!! A huge milestone fore us!! Now we gotta get someone out of diapers!

Mike and I are doing great too, we celebrated our 9th anniversary this year! We are working to make 10 years the best year yet, so we have spent lots of intentional time working on growing our marriage recently and have attended some conferences and classes that have just really enhanced our love and strengthened us as a team! We know that its too easy to let parenting AND having a special needs child get between us, and we want to work hard to fight for our marriage and stay in love! God has been so good to us, and encouraged us as we have faced many trials already in our marriage through mikes past deployments in the military and also with Levi.  

  Mike has been such a delight to have as a husband and is an amazing dad to our boys. He is so dedicated to his family and its a blessing to share life with him!!  

He is still enjoying his job at Riverside Manufacturing as a Project Engineer, and we are thankful that there is lots of work thats keeping him busy! Its been a great company for him, and so conducive to his desire to keep family first. 

We are praying for Mike's back as he has struggled with bulging discs and lots of pain since we were married and now it is pretty hard for him to carry the boys, so we are looking into some options, but as you can imagine that part is tricky for all of us!!

I love staying home with the boys, they make me laugh every day and keep me growing.. I'm thankful to get to be a parent, and see a whole new perspective on who God is and His love for us. Being a mom has a way of  keeping me mentally and physically on my toes. I have become more organized (and have a long way to go) and have been forced to think outside of myself for which I am thankful for! 

I have had a little more time recently to do some art work which gets me all excited, I hope to finish a lot of projects that are sitting around half done now that Levi is in school...(we'll see how that goes lol!)

  Mike and I have been growing so much with the Lord, and are so thankful for a deeper understanding of who He is and how he loves us. We both have grown in compassion and love this year which is always an act of God as we know pride can usually sneak in so easily.

Thanks again for your prayers for our family! We are daily encouraged by all of you, and blessed by your friendship!! 

I got teary eyed as I thought about what this next year will bring. I am excited to see what all could come of one year, and as we have also learned we know there are always tremendous hardships in a year as well...so we will just take one day at a time and trust that God knows whats next, and is already preparing us for the next steps in life!

Merry Christmas-

The Bracht Family 

   

Do you not know?

 Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom.
 He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.
 Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
 but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

The Story of Levi: The Bravest Boy I Know

muscle man

Getting strong and speedy on his walker!!

Lots of things I need to take some time to blog about but SSHHHHESH we have been busy! But here is a little bit if encouragement from Levi today ;) Enjoy and I will catch everyone up soon!!

"I have no idea what I am doing!!"

Its a sudden feeling that hits you all at once that breaks you down to say the words "I have no idea what I am doing!!" ...Today I released those words to my mom with tears in my eyes.. I am sure no one wants to hear those words..we dont even want to say them because it seems like once you say it, you could just lie down on the floor and say "whatever" to life... but sometimes we get to the point of saying that and feeling that!!

Today I was feeling that way after a week of the flu with both boys, and a couple here and there "worries" for Levi...I wont get in to details of that, but there are things that pop up sometimes that are like "ummm, ok is this normal or spina bifida related?"
One week of being down with the flu disrupts so much for Levi..It certainly isnt a good idea to have him wear his back brace when you are dealing with throw up and 103 fever...he certainly doesnt feel like walking and moving when he doenst feel good, or wearing his eye patch. So the last few days have been about getting him motivated to move again and getting him back on his routine...  He wears down fast, its hard to see the digression after so much hard work recently....

Seems like as he has been able to verbalize more and as he is growing, I am becoming more aware of the reality of spina bifida...I guess its mostly hard because its so much unknown! I mean the spectrum of conditions and mobility associated with this disease are so broad that its just so hard to know to know what to expect...Some kids may walk and then BAM out of no where there is some condition that causes them to completely loose the function that they had...or some child may have the same lesion level and have be able to run and walk while others are wheelchair bound... It doesnt give a person a whole lot of confidence in what will be.

 Today I feel all flustered over 2 things..one being that Levi's scoliosis seems to be worse than before according to his PT and also what we observe, and in addition to that, his hip seems to be further dislocated... you can feel the dislocation. (eeek) The last Dr. apt we had was in Feb. and we knew his hip was further dislocated but it was on 'watch' as well as his scoliosis....So since out apt, we requested a back brace on our own because we wanted to address this...apparently the hip is nothing to worry about according to his Dr. because I guess it doesnt affect his mobility (????) and he wont feel it...Well guess what..Levi has been reporting pain in his hip lately...Surgery is usually not the best option because there is a good chance it will keep coming out with kids with spina bifida....
Today I spent the morning investigating hospitals out of state that specialize in hip dysplasia in children...
many require 3-6 months of hospitalization and casting...it just seems so horrible to think about it. I mean I CANNOT imagine how you have an active almost 3 year old who just is learning how to walk bed ridden for something that is uncertain if it will work to fix the problem? how do you do this in another state? How do you do this financially? how do you do this with another baby?? So many questions....

I was thinking and kind of panicking about something that I dont even know about yet, but the thought scared me...This is why I was reminded of this verse
_
 Matthew 6:25-34

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?[a] 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek firstthe kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

_

I was thinking about how its hard when we dont feel confidant in things, and I started to think about all the things I dont have confidence about anymore...How when you feel like so much has changed and you dont know what the next day looks like...

.

My friend and I used to do this thing when we would find ourselves speculating and worrying about things we would say what we did know ex: "we KNOW that we are loved!, We KNOW that we are going to have fun tonight, We KNOW that God loves us..." ect... It was this thing we did to bring us back to the idea that there are things we are confident in whether we could think of it or not.

 Sometimes we have to get back to that idea. that we dont know what tomorrow brings but we KNOW certain things are true and we can hold on to those things..

1 john 5:14  Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. 15 And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him,.... Hebrews 4:16 "Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

So i realized today yes, there is much to be unknown, of my future, of Levi's, but there are several things that I can hold on to that I do KNOW!! And I know that I would feel lost without being able to lean on Jesus as my savior...I can pick myself up off of the floor knowing that He knows everything about me, and everything I am thinking about and the things that I dont even have energy to articulate ..I can find rest in this. That HE KNOWS!

And when i am able to shed that worry...I can open my ears to todays calling..."mom, lets make words with these magnets?" "mom can you build me a castle with these blocks"

Philippians 4

6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever thingsare of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. 9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.10 But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at last your care for me has flourished again; though you surely did care, but you lacked opportunity. 11 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: 12 I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ[b] who strengthens me.

Please keep praying, I personally appreciate your prayers for me as well and for Mike..that if it comes down to making these big decisions we will be confident in what is needed...and not have to worry about all the things that are uncertain, but we can rest in knowing its right... Also just for rest for mike and I...There is many things hard to explain but it certainly can takes a lot for a family to always be trying to focus on this disease and how to fight for the best for Levi...We are glad to do it...But it takes a lot of sacrifice on growing in other areas..we are learning about balance and what is healthy for us, and how much we can take on at a time, knowing there are things we want to commit to but cant for our family...Trusting in God, leaning on others...Its hard sometimes! And I also ask for continued diligence in praying over Levi, just like that verse in 1 John...I want to pray with that confidence! (and i forget to!why do I do that??)

Also, thanks for caring to keep up with this...I dont know if you've caught on yet but this is therapeutic for me, and sometimes helps me process and helps me get to the other side...so even if no one reads this its for me!! haha!

Love you all, 

thanks ;)

Psalm 139

 You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.

19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
    Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
    your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
    and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
    I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

a beautiful week

Oh so frustrating when you write a whole post, and it gets deleted accidently! Grr…so here goes round #2!

So yesterday was Sunday, and Sundays are always a day of great reflection from the week past and the week ahead for me. But this past week seemed to be particularly packed with sweet things that were coming my way making me overflow with thankfulness!  Its not always that I view things with a thankful heart, many times my heart can be full of discontentment…but I think a gift of this week was to have eyes that saw beauty and good around me. 

One day this past week I was in awe of the simplicity of watching my two boys sitting in the playroom playing, I was overcome by tear after tear as I watched each of their personalities in their play. And the beauty that it is to watch your children develop into the little personalities they will one day have….Knowing that it is such a privilege to have these two boys! Knowing that some people don’t even get the opportunity to observe these simple things in life because there is no child in their lives, but I am blessed with two beautiful boys.

Another time I opened my fridge and just stood and stared and appreciated that it was full, and there were so many times when I didn’t even think twice about having a full fridge! But since our eyes have been opened after going through financial peace with Dave Ramsey, and being diligent with our budget wheew, it sure opens our eyes to think about what we have, and what we have to wait for!!

This week was somewhat low key as in we didn’t have a whole lot going on, but it left me feeling thankful for the little things that make such a difference in our lives….

Here are a few examples:

Thankful for “Gram” and Aunt Grace, who take time to be with my boys, and are in our same neighborhood which is a big help in my life. Levi loves drawing, coloring and painting at my moms house which is so perfect for him because they are such patient things and I know that will go with him for a long time. He loves playing the piano, and is so amazing how he keeps a rhythm with his singing and only plays one finger at a time. He also likes to identify a piano when he hears it in a song =) And for the record, we are extremely blessed with amazing family on both sides of our family who care about us and support us so much! We are really lucky, and I hate to think what life would be like if we were doing this journey alone!!!

This week we also tested out the Splash Pad at the YMCA, which for one is pretty fun that we have access to that! But also this was something I was a little nervous to test out due to the idea of concrete and Levi’s knees not being a good mix…But I figured it out, and got him all padded up.               

         When we go somewhere with both boys I feel like it looks like this:

I’vegot the walker, and the stroller and a baby strapped to me, and a big tote with towels…quite something!! But I make it work! =)  So the splash pad was a hit! Levi could walk through the sprinklers in his walker and we had lots of fun just sitting and splashing too! But it was one of the funniest things to me, because one little girl kept being very fascinated with Levi, and was asking about his braces and walker, she was following us everywhere! If we didn’t bring the walker with us, she brought it to us! So then she was like “um, can it be my turn to use the walker? I haven’t ever gotten to try it before!!” and I said, “oh honey he needs it to walk right now!” and she says “but he needs to share it because I have never gotten a turn yet!” . Hahaha, so I thought, well what the heck, I mean she really wants to, and its probably good for her not to be afraid of it, and its good for Levi to see someone else BEG for his walker..So she took it around for a bit hahaha!  My friend was getting a kick out of how much I attracted all the kids around me while I was there helping Levi. Most of the moms are relaxing, which sounds fantastic…but we brought quite a crowd around us haha! 2 little boys were like “OH! Whats wrong with him?” so I explained he needs his braces to help his legs be stronger, and the walker helps him to walk faster  isn’t that cool? They were like “oh, yeah! AND YOU SHOULD PROBABLY PRAY TO GOD TO HELP HIM GET BETTER TOO!” and I said, oh yes we sure do, and you can pray for him to get better too, that really does help! He was like “ OH. You already know about God? Well, you don’t want to pray to the Devil, only God” .  And we had other cute conversations for a long time haha.

Then I have been just looking at both boys and noticing how both boys are just getting so big!!! Lennox never seemed tiny; he just got big right away! And now he is already 8 months old, and as I looked over into the playroom he was proudly standing up =) He is such an active little boy, I am thankful for how easy it is for him to do things. Although its bittersweet when I watch him just easily do things like get himself into crawling position when we had to work at that simple transitional move over, and over with Levi.  One of the amazing things that Lennox brings to our home is constant motivation for Levi, and we are going to keep praying that is the case! We are working with Levi on cheering on Lennox top as he continues to impress us every day with his abilities, and we hope to teach both boys how to be thankful for that gift!

New freedoms come in our house when one of the boys can do new things….So this week Lennox no longer needs help sitting in the bath tub, although you better believe he is all over the bath tub but on purpose…We always are “wrestling and alligator” with that one =)  Also Lennox can sit in a highchair and eat finger food next to Levi, so that is like “HALLELUJIA!”  I am pretty sure that as soon as this little one gets moving, our house is gonna get a little crazier hahah!

I’m also thankful for sharing my journey with this handsome man. We never knew what life would be like for us as parent, but he has been an amazing husband and daddy to his two boys. He strives to be a good example for them, and always cares about teaching a Godly character to his young boys who will someday be men! Levi calls Mike “big giant”, and when Levi wakes up in the morning he says “HI BIG GIANT! I LOVE YOU BIG GIANT!” hahah, and Lennox only calms down for Mike, and when he comes near him he about leaps out of my arms to be with him or catch his eye =)

We are also lucky to have a daddy in our home that is an engineer! This weekend, Mike made a few  new things for Levi! He got a set of parallel bars and a new flotation device like the one Levi uses at the therapy pool! So mike was able to figure them out and make them right away =) Levi has trouble with regular flotation devices, even on life jackets because of his low muscle tone in his legs, they just float right up causing him to always have his face in the water in a floatie…So that is always our mission to find the best way to help him swim…we may look in to leg weights too to weigh him down a little.

So the new things were quite a hit…the parallel bars gave a new motivation for walking, and he tried them out right away, and since then has really mastered them and knows how to turn around and walk back. This also helped us to be able to set the walker on a more challenging position as well which will ultimately help him walk on his own better!

We also made an adjustment to Levi’s bed this weekend helping him to get up and down out of bed. I had no idea this was such a great idea, but let me tell you this has caused hours of fun lately! He hadn’t been able to pull up to stand very well yet, or turn to sit, and this caused him to MASTER it!  So he is very proud of climbing up his “wall” as he calls it..and he says “mom, I’m humpty dumpty, can I sit on my wall?” hhaha um??? I don’t know where that came from, but very cute!  So he gets all silly with his new trick, and becomes very brave while he is goofing off!  But this helped him be able to walk in his walker to the bathroom stool, and pull himself up onto the stool to brush his teeth! So that is really cool!! 

The other day he also wanted to get in the tub so bad he pulled to stand without his braces on (EEEEK) and actually stood for a while!! But he is learning he needs those braces, and starts to cry when we have to take them off for the day! I am so glad this has become such a source of fun for him!

Well thank you all for your prayers lately, this is the longest post EVER, but I have been just overwhelmed by the beauty of little milestones at our house! It gives me chills to think what will be a month from now!!

We have so much to be thankful for every single day…Its so easy to get caught up in seeing sadness and all the trouble around us, but when we take a minute and look around at how blessed we really are, I find myself overwhelmed by the goodness of the Lord in our lives, who has given to us abundantly!

always humbled

Oh my sweet friends ;)
What a blessing the body of Christ has been in our lives, you all have been continuously kind and thoughtful of our family and Levi! I am always so amazed ....

Recently I have been praying so much for different things as usual, and I have just come to the conclusion that this journey has completely humbled me in all ways.
For one, doesnt becoming a mom do this to us anyways?   Well I never thought the thoughts that I have had recently would ever enter my brain, because I am someone who is full of pride haha....
But, a while back I sat down and just wrote out all the "change" that took place when I became Levi's mom....one thing that changed in a big way was becoming a stay at home mom which I hadnt planned on doing because I loved my job and had been there 10 years, and I felt good at it! But through prayer during that time God showed me that I needed to move on to something that was very unknown, and it was a big leap of faith to say yes to the idea of staying home....many that know me know that my job was a huge part of my life, you know I had a drive to work harder if needed and that I loved getting to be with so many people everyday and loved getting dressed up for my job =)...oh and so much more that i loved. But you stay at home moms know that its not just about the choice to stay with your child, its about giving up many things that you loved in sacrifice for your decision!!Well I can say that 2 years ago when I made this change, it was extremely important and the best decision I could ever make, and had no idea the amount of fulfillment and benefit this would be in our home....The amount of change in my heart i would say is immeasurable because the things I now value are night and day. (praise God! haha)

God has been rocking my world lately, in a way that is funny kind of...I have been realizing that He provides the body of Christ to show us His love for us, and I keep on being like choosy of who I think should help, or I keep thinking I can do it on my own... but He keeps on bringing people alongside of me, and I'm like "oh we are fine!!"( bla bla bla...).because you know, I wouldn't want someone to know that I am human... So recently when i have been struggling with a few things, all these times that I have said "no thanks"  to others who have offered something have been popping in my mind like crazy! So first of all sorry to all of you, you are amazing in your obedience in serving others!! Its kind of embarrassing to think how my pride has gotten in the way of letting God show us how He loves us(.and its kind of embarrassing to share this too haha!!)...
So I am now feeling extremely humbled, knowing that God can use ANYONE and he can do ANYTHING to show us who He is, but I have been sort of standing in the way filtering what I think I may need...

So here is one need that I need to be honest about, and that is that Mike and I have worked very hard at being on a single income, we have learned to budget, we have maintained being out of debt (praise God!), but the reality is that it is a very small budget and Mike makes a modest salary.( that I remind myself is more than many people in the world if I can have a global perspective) The fact that I have been able to stick to a budget is by the grace of God if anyone knows me, but we have done an amazing job of only having what we need, and cutting out the rest for about 2 years!  (in fact I never thought I would enjoy the challenge of the creativity that that brings! haha). That being said, although Levi has great insurance there are many daily needs that we run into to help him keep up with everyone else. Just a recent example of this is that in order for him to go to the splash pad, he will need waterproof socks ($20-$30) for under his braces, waterproof knee pads($15) and water shoes that I can find to fit over his braces($20-30) to protect him from skin breakdown and also allow him to wear his braces in the water...
There have been many things recently in addition to this, and as he is growing the we are realizing that we will have to wait and save up for those things or go into debt to purchase for him, and that these "extras" will always be a part of his life.
I have been really praying about what we need to do to make this work with what we have, and the Lord keeps reminding me "you do not have, because you do not ask" (james 4:2b). So although this is the hardest thing to do, I feel that I am being obedient in asking and allowing God to work how he wants to with this (without pride getting in the way this time).  So now you will see on our blog that there is a "Donate" button on the right side of our page that is linked to a separate account that we can use for these extra things for Levi. This is through pay pal, so its a secure site to donate to. Please pray about it, and I have no idea what will come of this, but I want to allow for the opportunity to let others be obedient while I am learning to be obedient as well..
We also built in a comment box on the right side which emails us directly! We have been so blessed by your kind words, it truly makes a big impact every day, so we welcome your emails as well. And as always, thank you for continued prayers as these are the most important of all.
"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”- Matthew 19:26

Love you all, I am praying over this post that you will understand my heart in asking this as its extremely uncomfortable to do ;)

God bless you!

Levi and buddy owen

Painting with grandma

Swinging

a change ;)

Okay so first of all thanks for alllll of the kind words and prayers from everyone recently. I appreciate how many people truly care. Man I felt stuck for a minute thinking about whats ahead, and I am reminded about how many times the bible talks about worry and its in there for a reason because man if we dont focus on one day at a time we are just paralyzed!

So here is the deal, following that therapeutic post, i had said that the next day at therapy he did amazing...well since then he has done amazing!!! But still in my heart I was thinking about how can I get him to feel as normal as possible? and also although yes this is our family, and not everyone's responsibility to accommodate our needs...we actually have many people who love us and just want to know what they can do...and I want to say THANK YOU!!!
it means so much when people want to make life great for Levi. So many times I forget to be specific and then I feel alone in my journey, but as soon as I ask so many people are ready, and so many times I dont know what to ask for...I have had so many friends of mine so casually offer to be a part of helping Levi be motivated to keep going and I cant tell you how God has blessed me with so many thoughtful people recently.
I was thinking about, if there are events that Levi cant really participate in, that its my responsibility to plan things that he can do! I mean, why not have reasons to plan parties hehe, i love doing that anyway, i just need to be his advocate and not find myself in disappointment over things like this. Also, I have to realize that  lots of kids Levi's age are on the go and have no reason to maintain the attention span he has learned to have...so ya know what? I dont have to feel sad when he doesnt keep up with other 2 year old, but he actually loves talking and playing with older kids....so ahhh ha! (not to say dont bring your 2 year old around anymore, its just that I had to change expectations to accommodate!) So there is one problem figured out...

So also part of the problem was that this old walker he had wasnt getting him where he needed to go....so we finally have it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay, this is so awesome, and it is actually very different which I said in my brief post because its a reverse walker which will help him learn to stand straighter and walk independently...it was hard hard at first and that was scary to me, but I adjusted some things and its a breeze now and he loves it!! My favorite thing about is that he can walk up to something and transfer to another surface and i love this!! (and that it has a parent bar, and that it goes over bumps well and is portable!!!) So we got the walker on tuesday, and the day before we saw miss carrie levi's Pt who had known my heart had been sad over levi realizing that he cant get where he needs to go recently...and she said "I usually wouldnt bring this up right now, but what if we consider a wheelchair for Levi sometime, not because he wont walk but since he is so smart and is figuring this out earlier, it would boost his confidence... what do you think, if it takes as long as the walker did it will be several months from now but what if we get the ball rolling?"  Let me tell you that I had envisioned the day this would be talked about as the scariest day of my life!!  But I totally get it!!! So we asked our friend with SB who only uses a chair for long distances (and walks and runs everywhere else) if we could have a "play date" with his siblings at the park and check out HIS walker, just to see....
Well he figured it out right away...which is this clip I posted....Wow did it make me happy! I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE HAPPY TO SEE THIS, and when I found out about Levi's SB when I was pregnant, this was the scariest idea for me.

So here is the deal...miss carrie saw how levi was doing with his new walker and was thrilled, and we even took off some "extras" we added but he doesnt even need already on day 3...and I think this gave us a great optimism for him getting around..so we are going to try this for a while and then I think we will make decisions on a chair in the nearish future but only as a back up so that he doesnt take the easy way out (meanie momma) But its so hard because you see him get in there and he can zip around and I love that!!!
But it was fun to try Owens wheelchair, and for now we are gonna use our set of wheels to keep staying motivated but its a big deal when you see your baby happy because he can get where he wants to go.

Thanks for the prayers my friends...I am thankful for having such clarity on problem solving this week..Lots of smiles and motivation all around over here!!